Edison Tian
4105 College Point Blvd, Flushing, NY, 11355
Ms. Davidow
160 Convent Ave, New York, NY 10031
February 5, 2021

Dear Ms. Davidow,
Please let me take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Edison Tian. I am a
freshman from Flushing, Queens and I’m looking to major in mechanical engineering. This
major is the precursor to my dream of creating a startup since it will equip me with the skills
necessary for the STEM field.
Challenges I’ve faced occur often in my pursuit of higher education. Most notably,
keeping everything balanced when a school transfer goes wrong. I’ve transferred to two different
high schools. The first time I transferred to a private institution in Long Island. I did this in hopes
of more classes and a good school brand on my college application. Little did I know, that was
one big mistake. The social life was nonexistent, the curriculum took months to accustom to, and
the commute made every day a logistical nightmare. All in all, I ended the junior year with a
lower grade point average and even lower spirits. I felt like it was the end of the road. But, those
tumultuous events wouldn’t stop me from trying again. I picked up enough dignity in the
summer to attend an overnight college empowerment program recommended by a fellow peer.
After some research, I felt optimistic and took my chances. What happened after my surprisingacceptance, I will always remember. Gaining the opportunity to step foot in Chicago, I was left
astonished by the lengths the program would go to bring students together. Never in my life was
I so relieved to meet and network with people in my shoes. There were students, admission
officers, and education directors. The number of people I got to meet was overwhelming. After
each day, it didn’t take long before the ashes reignited. All they needed were a little rekindling. A
little stoking. A little assistance in the right path. Upon returning to New York, I decided to
search for a new school to take my talent. After weeks of searching, I eventually enrolled in a
nice public school. I was back in action. After acquiring the advanced placement courses I
needed, the drive I had to rejuvenate my college application has never been stronger.
On the contrary, my most notable success took place during my sophomore year
revolving around the athletics department. Whether it was training with teammates, competing
on game day, or just seeing new places, taking part in two sports and being a team captain in one
of them was a thrilling experience, to say the least. But that wasn’t always the major mood. The
start of the cross country season was rough for several reasons. Initially, instructing and leading
the team was a challenge. With the influx of freshmen runners and other students quitting at the
first bead of sweat, it was safe to say that the future of the team looked quite bleak. Wrestling
was a learning curve for me and I lost all my matches for the first half of the season. Every
setback was room for me to try harder and try new methods. The cross country team eventually
improved with individual assistance. For wrestling, the consistent and rigorous training paid off.
I was beginning to win matches and execute techniques perfectly. That consistent effort is what
most people don’t see. But, my school’s athletic department did notice my efforts as a captain
and an athlete. So much so that I was nominated Sophomore Athlete of the Year. I never expected to be a nominee, let alone the winner. Many people gave their best effort in their craft.
That was my most memorable moment of success.
I hope the insight into my background and experiences will give off the impression of my
persistence. Persistence is one of my best traits as it allows me to meet the goals that are set and I
hope to display that in this class.
Sincerely,
Edison Tian

This entry is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International license.